Longest Night

As Christmas items are being placed on the shelves already--and Hallmark and other networks have begun Christmas and holiday programming ( which I love by the way-for the most part ) --the "weight" of the holidays begins to descend on many....

For many of us --and when I was younger, and my son was younger ( his mom and I divorced when he was very young )the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas was often very difficult--filled with sad moments ( and days --and nights )--in spite of my general enjoyment of decorations and lights and music, especially the "religious" music of the season.

Dealing with the expectations promoted on television, radio, books, and movies that the holidays are times for families to be together and happy-when in fact many families are not enjoying "joy" at all --relationship issues, missing people who are no longer with us because they have gone home to God--or because they have moved--or moved on from relationship with us --when the cost of food and presents and the expectations of our children so wildly promoted by retailers and those movies and television programs creates devastating pressure on parents and other family members--and when the children of divorced parents are all too often used--consciously or not--as pawns, especially during the holidays, little weapons to get back at former spouses ( happily and gratefully NOT my personal experience ) --and even when children are not being used in that manner--the sadness of separation on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas ( I have not experienced the pain that a parent of another faith might feel ) ….that sadness can be overwhelming.

For me, it was like a 50 pound weight was literally placed on my shoulders like football shoulder pads--or a yoke---on Thanksgiving, and didn't come off until the 26th of December. The holidays have a way amplifying our failures --of having us evaluate where we are since last year---of intensifying sadness.

Developing strategies to get yourself through this time of the year is critical. Whether you make sure to spend time with friends / family whose company you do find fun and / or comforting to adding a "spiritual" focus and spiritually driven activities to your calendar to engaging in more healthy exercise or simply identifying triggers for sadness, depression, anger, or illness ( yes--the holiday season can. and does, bring on illness ), it's important to sort out ways to avoid triggers ( I learned not to turn on television or radio on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day until a football or basketball game came on in the afternoon ) --and being ok with saying yes--or no --to holiday dinner invitations, as some people can be toxic, or maybe some years you need / want company and other years not so much....you need to evaluate what might work for you -at this moment.

Another good strategy is finding ways to help others. I know, sounds like a cliché but volunteering at a community breakfast or dinner --or 2-3-4 of them--can be helpful to the people in need, as well as a great way to feel positive about what you are doing --feel positive about YOU --and maybe make some new friends at the same time. Throughout the year, but especially throughout the holiday season, there are many people in tragic or desperate circumstance, as you can help them! You'll realize that you are NOT alone in struggling through the holidays too.


Some congregations also plan a "Longest Night" or "Blue Christmas"--acknowledging that there are people who will admit that the holidays are hard for them...and these are worth exploring. The tone of the service is generally different ...more accepting that for many, this is not all presents and happy families and fa-la-la-la-la.


In fact, the month or six week period is "The Longest Night" of the year.....and you are not alone in experiencing that.

Prayer for today

One of the prayers I read / say most often--and especially this week--which will be a difficult week:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Ex Libris