Self-Isolating From The Prisons We Find Ourselves In

Self – isolating from hate, violence, evil

As 2020 drags on, I find myself “self-isolating” more and more—not so much out of fear of the virus - which every day I am more convinced is an act of bio-terrorism by China, and a successful attack at that - –but because of what the virus has exposed for all to see---the “true levels” of faith, or lack of faith commitment, as well as hate, violence, and evil in the country and the world. But my focus today is on what is happening in the United States, Massachusetts, and Central Massachusetts—our neighborhoods.
This virus ( or attack ) has put everyone in a “prison” of sorts. To wear masks or not—to assault those who--if someone isn’t wearing a mask, particularly if you have a significant health issue and feel threatened by the person without the mask---and the increasing episodes of violence resulting from those disputes –is an indication of the true nature of people.

We all feel like we’re living in an alternative universe—from a bad science fiction movie. I find myself unable to go to large stores and see a large number of people in masks, even though I understand the need for them, as a way to try and keep others safe, as a way to be respectful and caring and kind.

Most of us have lost out on seeing long time friends and family members, particularly if they have serious underlying health conditions, such as diabetes, heart problems, asthma, cancer, or other serious conditions that we know about! I’m sadly aware that I may never see some of those friends and family members in person again, never hug them, never hold them close—at least not in our lifetimes on this earth.

We miss going to the lake or ocean, and going to the free outdoor concerts, or the community theater, or the restaurant ( many of us will not ever go to an indoor restaurant again ) or even a grocery or department store. We miss going to church, to synagogue, to a mosque, as well as participating in ministries. Many of us miss working, or more specifically, working and making the money needed to pay existing bills, much less move from job to job in an upward progression that provides us with opportunities to better ourselves financially. In fact, right now for a VERY large percentage of Americans, survival is the focus.

So, we are imprisoned by this virus, and we find our communities, our local communities, losing businesses who just can’t hold on this long, and we wonder about school and our children / grandchildren, and fairs, parades, regattas, and other long time community events that bind us together-and are gone, at least for now.
In the midst of this some truly awful violent events have spawned protests and in some cases riots and added a heavy load of fear to our lives, and confusion, and we are all imprisoned by some terrible truths about the country’s past –what our ancestors did ---and in too many cases—despite many of our best efforts and commitments, in spite of how some of us have fought for equal / civil rights for decades –terrible truths about how so many neighbors—people of color, gay and transgender neighbors—Jewish and Muslim neighbors—women in general, are being treated today. We’re further imprisoned by violence and angry words that spawn retaliation and more violence and more threats from all sides. And we live in that prison day after day.

The response to the “prison” this bio-terror attack / virus put us in has been sadly predictable and discouraging.

I’ve long believed, in part because of my interpretation of the Bible and in part via 67 years of observation, that about 40% of people everywhere have decided to NOT live lives committed to God. About 25% of people DO accept God and live as closely as possible to God’s will. That leaves about 35% of people who just aren’t sure, or who bend between the two. This 35% constitutes the “battleground” between Satan / evil and those who are committed to God.

Under the best of circumstances, those percentages ring true to me. So, 40% of everyone—no matter what color your skin or what your sexual orientation or your gender identification –or career –police officer or accountant or teacher or social worker or grocery store worker—40% of everyone has chose a life not in tune with God. This doesn’t mean that the 40% go around shooting or stealing all the time—but God through Jesus has said that our primary life responsibility is to love God—and love our neighbor. By loving our neighbor- I always took that to mean respect, tolerance, kindness. Those in the 40% “category” often choose not to either love God, nor choose to love their neighbors.

Extreme prolonged stress often brings out the worst, and the best, in people. I’m blessed to know people who have spent the past 4 months delivering emergency food to isolated seniors, putting themselves at risk, and others who have fed and brought encouragement to first responders and health care professionals dealing with so many critically ill and dying people. I know first responders who have put themselves at risk -police officers, fire fighters, ems staff, as well as janitors and grocery store workers and truck drivers who ensure access to food and supplies. Many of these people have demonstrated kindness and caring. How many of these people are in the 40% - but are “reaching into a reservoir of good within themselves—or are in the 25% --or in the 35% and being their best selves, only God knows.

But I’ve also experienced, as many of us all have, a greater number of drivers simply ignoring stop lights & signs—who have no patience at all with those of us who drive the speed limit---who act like they should be the only ones on the road. Many of us have experienced practically being run over in grocery stores –most every time I’ve had to go to grocery stores—by angry people. The angry exchanges and now violence and threats of violence during these exchanges are escalating.

The violence we’ve seen on television ( or in person if you have been a participant ) at protests that a small number turn into riots is disheartening and frightening.
Social media has become –even more than previously—a harbor / vehicle for anyone who chooses to espouse hate and prejudice –and people of all colors are guilty of this –but there are clearly more white people who either feel threatened or angry or hold very deep prejudices and in the relatively anonymous world of social media feel free to express the darkness of their hearts.

I do some part time work that requires my being on Facebook and other social media—and I have enjoyed blogging -promoting my posts on social media. But the darkness I see and feel on Facebook in particular ( which in NO way do I blame Facebook for by the way ) –the anger and open expressions of hate and declarations of violence as a preferred way to deal with long standing feelings and hurts and prejudice has me thinking more seriously about either getting off Facebook or—if I stopped blogging and working—eliminating anyone but a few relatives and friends –maybe going from 3000+ “friends” to 150 “friends” ---who I’m blessed to know don’t share the darkness.

As the world around us –right here in Central Mass as well as beyond—seems to dissolve into this pool of hate and violence---I’ve begun self-isolating. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing at first, but over the past 3-4 weeks I realized that it is simply healthier for me to stay away from most people and settings! I drive very infrequently now, and don’t go very far—as most every time I even drive the 2 miles to the fruit / vegetable store and the pharmacy I see people being more aggressive than ever before—and people around here drive very aggressively to begin with. I just manage a few errands and turn right around and go home!

I take my 3 mile walk, we love taking care of our 2 and a half year old great niece, am blessed to have a couple terrific neighbors / friends, talk on the telephone with other lifelong friends, do my work and writing, and love to read. The television –particularly Hallmark Christmas movies and mysteries provides escapes. Prayer fills most days. With all this, I find I need to be out in the world less and less often. Being out in the world seems more dangerous-and the world seems more filled with evil, and people who have chosen evil, than ever before.

Sadly, beyond prayer, I feel powerless to do anything about the dissolution of our society and world. Throughout my life I worked, and volunteered in settings / organizations / political candidates who I thought would shape a better world. While I do believe my efforts did assist some people, my work hardly made a dent in the fight against racism, or human trafficking, or prejudice based on sexual orientation, or hate, or getting people to vote. In that regard, I feel that I’ve failed. It’s now up to the next generation to sort out strategies to address these issues, and I simply hope and pray that those strategies reflect God’s love and how God asks us to live.

While for many, isolation is a negative and unhealthy circumstance, for me, a level of isolation is indeed a positive. As I feel more and more powerless, withdrawing into prayer and escaping into positive light-hearted activities helps me create an alternative universe of my own. I find a way to create “Light” in the midst of the darkness of this world. I pray that others can begin doing the same rather than allow frustration to become anger that becomes rage that becomes violence. I also pray that the next generation is more successful at creating a better, more just, more Godly world. May God’s peace fill your hearts and souls.